How It Began…

If you would have told me, 4 years ago, that I would have a bakery business. I would have laughed. I was a mom of 3 children all born within 3 years of each other. How could I fit in running a business?

God had a plan though. He knew what he was doing.

In 2019 I had one of the hardest years of my life. I had everything to be grateful for, but I also had to say goodbye to my father, and my mother would shortly after, tell me she had breast cancer. Amidst all of this, the pressure felt too great, I was trying to be a mom, a wife, grieve my father, and do whatever I could to help my mother - also understand some unhealthy relationships I was keeping myself tied to.

I was living in a constant state of fear and anxiety, I was having panic attacks that felt like nothing I had ever experienced before. I mean, I’d had anxiety in my life, but I always thought I could overcome it with exercise or busyness.

What I can say now, is I needed those panic attacks. God was at work in all of it. Now I can see what He was at work doing, I had a lot of work ahead of me, years of work, therapy, and prayer. I had lived years of my life disassociating, and blaming others for my own issues.

In 2020, during covid, being unemployed, my sister prompted me to start a bakery business. I loved baking cakes for my kids birthdays, and baking “healthier” treats for my family. I had a lot to learn though, many ups and downs, figuring out recipes, and understanding how to run a business, and not take on any order that came my way.

So why am I sharing all of this? Because I feel one of the first steps in healing, was God bringing this business into my life. It helped me get out of my head - at least while I was baking and decorating. It was almost, and is almost like meditation. It allows me to focus on something outside of myself - I think this can be key - to escaping the riddling anxiety and stress life can throw our way.

I share this because I know in the moments of unrelenting panic, it can feel like there is no way out. If you are experiencing this, know you are not alone. There were so many times I felt completely alone in all of it, my loved ones closest to me could not understand, they had never experienced the panic I was having.

God walked me through it though, even when I cried out to him in anger, wondering where he was. He was with me, I wasn’t alone.

Cakes and cookies might not be the answer, but I think it was a start for me. I think creativity can helps us escape the terrors of our mind.

I know anxiety/stress looks different for every person out there.

I truley believe it was a nudge for me, telling me I needed to change a whole lot of things in my life. And all of those changes have been worth it.

Try taking some time to get creative. See how you feel after!